Early Retirement Blog

 Pink Slip Party  Ends in Tragedy

First Mate: “Captain! Captain! We just hit an iceberg, the ship is sinking, what should we do!”
Captain: “Alert the band, clear the deck,  prepare to party!”

Pink Slip Parties are sweeping the nation.  In New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and even Connecticut, the newly unemployed are gathering to party.  Yesterday in San Francisco, an event called Laid Off Camp had all day workshops for Pink Slip recipients, followed by a party with their very own D.J.   Welcome on board the Titanic?

For workers in their 20′s and 30′s, the “Me” generation that never experienced a recession or layoffs, getting let go from their jobs is just another reason to have a party.   In fact, for many in the me generation, life itself is centered around the party.  Party, party, party.  Who’s having a party? Where’s the party?  Who’s the D.J.?

For the past eight years, this generation of workers, has been engaged in one long party.  Spoiled, narcissistic, and selfish, while fellow Americans their age were getting blown up in Fallujah, their energy and effort was focused on the party Friday night.   The reason the Anti-war movement in America failed, was because organizers failed to have a party after the march, “no party no show” is the motto for young American adults.  Other groups were not so stupid, or clueless, and quickly figured out how to appeal to the Party Generation.

Save the environment? Have a party.  Starving kids in Darfur? Have a party.  Elect Barack Obama? Have a party.  Politics became a drinking game.  During the presidential debates groups of “activists” in their 20′s and 30′s would gather in front big screen HD plasma t.v. sets (with bitch’in sound systems),  either in each others homes or in trendy bars, and watch and listen to the debates for the signal.  “Dude! Obama just said “Yes, we can”. Your turn – Slam it!”

For those of you unfamiliar with the party phenomenon, and for those of you who would like to get in on the action, here is a quick guide to creating your very own cause related party.  You can choose any cause you like, so long as their is a party involved, the cause itself is irrelevant.  So, with your cause in mind, here is how you plan your party.

Find the latest “hip” nightclub in your area and get the owners to agree to host your party.  They make their money off of drinks, so they’ll be more than happy to host your cause for very little money, or in some cases for free.  Hire a good D.J. A well known D.J. will bring their own “peepes” to your party,  people who have no idea what your cause is about and who honestly don’t care, but are more than happy to make a donation to your cause to dance while their favorite D.J. “spins”.  Print up some flashy postcards promoting your party and pass them around.  Notify your social networks, on facebook, myspace, get twittering and invite everyone to the party. If you do a good job, you can collect a lot of “donations” for your cause, and have a great party!

Some will argue, and I will agree, that Pink Slip Parties serve a positive purpose.  Unlike the previous generation, whose reaction to being laid off was to hide in their garages and grow a beard, the me generation has no shame over being layed off.  It’s not your fault that a bunch of Wall Street a-holes engaged in phony finance, and as a result you lost your job, why beat yourself up?  Getting out of your condo, and getting together with others who have lost their jobs, is healthy for the soul.

Unfortunately, the ship really is sinking, so go ahead and enjoy your Pink Slip Party on the deck of our economy, but you will have to excuse me if I don’t attend, I’m heading for the lifeboats.